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My anxiety made sleeping more than four hours a night impossible, and the sleeplessness compounded every worry and sadness. Eventually, I managed to remember every day, and the experiment began in earnest. When I finished, I just felt But mostly, I wanted to commit to a new masturbation regimen because in spending less time patting the bunny, I felt like I was losing yet another part of myself to the crush of adult responsibility. I thought of the articles I've read about women who have orgasms while exercising , and silently cursed them a turn of events that, unsurprisingly, left me even less horny. That's the real challenge behind this experiment — trying to masturbate when you're not horny can feel as appealing as, say, loading a dishwasher.

I had a nice, soothing orgasm, which relaxed me even more than usual, since my difficulty masturbating the night before had put me on edge. The Experiment. If I wasn't Gabrielle Moss, Masturbator, the mistress of her own destiny vulvic and otherwise , then who the hell was I? My boyfriend was out of town and I had no social obligations, which meant I got to pay a visit to Dame Helen Mirren completely on my own schedule. I was far enough into the experiment to notice that I was not reaping any of the alleged benefits of masturbation.